The Broadway-Loving, Jason Mraz-pondering Vampire

I had my last Philosophy of Religion class today, went to Starbucks and bought myself a venti iced coffee with a delicious spinach and feta wrap. Then I meandered over to a clothing store and dropped a whopping $25 on some new threads (I don't know if this remark is meant to be sarcastic or not). Now I'm off to work until 11:30 and then hanging with my mother at her new pad until 2:30am. Then I'll come home, hug my cat, maybe watch a little Chelsea Handler, clean the apartment for our lovely house guests who are arriving tomorrow, go to sleep, wake up, go to work until 5pm, get an overpriced cab to the mall where I will wait for someone to pick me up and I'll begin my night which has a huge possibility of being fun considering the aforementioned house guests.

I'm exhausted already.

When I told my boyfriend over the phone that I was walking around downtown he replied, "Good for you", in strange, uppity voice that leads me to believe he doesn't think of me as the type who goes outside on nice days. He's correct in this assumption and it was actually painful for me to be around so many people wearing their summer outfits, looking cheerful, and casually laughing to one another while I sulked in my mysterious misery and wondered what a "paper gangster" is as referenced in a song playing in a store.

As we speak I'm downloading a bunch of Jason Mraz songs from days past - primarily off "Live at Java Joe's" and his first studio album "Waiting for My Rocket to Come". I haven't listened to these songs in years and I can't believe they weren't already on my iTunes - that I've had since 2007! I haven't listened to these songs in almost four years! I still remember every word and they make me feel so at home that it's almost eerie. In fact, it is extremely eerie. Jason Mraz equates to summer for me. It actually makes me really sad that the last time I saw him in concert it was mostly high school girls in the audience waiting for him to play "I'm Yours" and the concert overall was just 'eh'. He played for under an hour and never even touched his older, better songs. I'm not one of those people that always thinks a musician's earlier work is better than the new stuff but in Mraz's case it just happens to be true for the most part. I'm not the biggest fan of "I'm Yours" although I really do love "We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things." as an album.

Okay, well that's all I want to say I think.


Oh yes, one last thing. I don't know why I'm getting so misty eyed over my fleeting youth today. Other than Jason Mraz, I also downloaded some Broadway songs and wrote down every Broadway show that has student rush tickets in the city. I used to be flat out, down right OBSESSED with Broadway in a way that I've never been obsessed with anything before (and that's saying a lot for me). I lost sight of that obsession somewhere a long the way but still pine for it sometimes. There's still nothing like the lights going down in a theatre to give you goosebumps. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Okay, now you can go. That's all I wanted to say.

Thanks for listening.

WARNING: If None of This Makes Sense It's Because I'm Totally Drunk. Thanks.

I actually got my Jewish boyfriend to go out tonight at 12:30am and we "enjoyed" an interesting night at a local New Brunswick hangout. It's not the most glamorous thing but it's okay on a night with nothing else going on. It's acceptable and I actually like the little outdoor area they have. I don't know - if I had my choice of anywhere on earth to be right now I wouldn't even know what to say. You only consider what's normal from your own experience, right? Luckily, I've never had a normal experience in my life.

My boyfriend loves normal things and strives to be a normal, well adjusted, motivated individual. I disagree with his entire way of life personally. I'd prefer one extreme or the other: exceptionally sophisticated, poetry loving professor or totally free spirited, laid back Jason Mraz-type guy but he's somewhere in between I guess. I don't know. I love the idiot - for better or worse. I've been with him long enough. There has to be SOMETHING good. I don't know anyone that has been with their partner as long as we've been together. I think many would be surprised to know we've been together 6 1/2 years. It's shocking to even write. What are we doing correctly? Are we?

Relationships are incredibly tricky. I can't stop myself from thinking other men are gorgeous but I'd never go much further than that. I'm not a big believer in monogamy but yet I've been monogamous for so long now. I can't wrap my mind around it.

I drank quite a bit tonight, although it's never enough for me, a wonderfully advanced aspiring alcoholic, but still - I can't get my mind around it.

I talk about my lovely close friend a lot - a male - and we get a long incredibly and have so much love for each other it's ridiculous but my boyfriend is still the guy I come home to. He's a good person in a million ways. I may refer to his religion often but I do love him. He's just got a lot of flaws. So do I. I'm just much cooler and way more fun.

I wish I knew more people who drank. Margaritas particularly. I can't promise that if a Spanish Robert Downey, Jr. hit on me tomorrow I wouldn't be tempted... but then again there's no place like home... and that's with Steve.

Gee, Thanks For Your Time, Cats.

Oh, hi. I wasn't expecting you. Hope you're enjoying your day. Here's a photograph of me in a fit of love with Charlie Margarita Chaplin, my black Maine Coon cat.

Here's another snapshot of me in full rapture.

This is when she told me to stop being creepy and I think she's just kidding around.

Then she walked out of the room to do a crossword puzzle and I was left on my own.

In the Depths of My Soul: If I Had One

Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of going insane. I want to do crazy things like spill my coffee on other people's faces or throw rocks through my own window. I can't entirely explain it but I'm a little on the nutty side. I'm not a fan of being conventionally "normal" - whatever that means - but I'm also not a fan of completely sticking out like a sour thumb (I don't even think that's the right reference.)

I don't want to be like this guy:



But I also don't want to be like this one:



It's a fine line we all walk.

I'm tired of analyzing my words when other people are around or thinking I snuggle with my cat too much. So what? That's what I say. So what if I call you a hopeless snaggletooth nobody with a black heart or I enjoy lounging with a purring ball of fur all day instead of reading a school book? I mean who is really getting hurt in the end?

I super glued a ring back together, watched "The Middle" on ABC, had way too much Chipotle, put on a puppet show for my boyfriend, and downloaded Ruben Studdard and Shania Twain today. I'm going back for more. My life is one heck of a good time!



Wow. I'm pretty pleased with the realism of this superb photograph.

Handling Youngsters: A Beginner's Manual

Have you ever found yourself pulling over on a side street to eat a falaffel on your way to visit a friend at a rehab center only to realize that you accidentally pulled in front of the house a professor you're madly in love with?

Well that happened to my Jewish boyfriend and me today. I was in the middle of a delicious olive and lettuce sandwich from Subway and suddenly I spotted my professor's - let's call him Juan - car in the driveway. I immediately directed my boyfriend to another location where we sat eating a little more peacefully near some scuzzy apartments.

Later on in our travels, we were nearly assaulted when a little girl in a pastel purple t-shirt began hopping towards the car. My boyfriend - who we'll call Sherman - quickly locked the car doors just in time. The little girl then ran into a nearby location, presumably her home, so a crisis was averted yet again.

Even later on in the evening, I attended a meeting with a group for a class entitled "Gender, Race, and Class in the Media" at a cafe named after a Red Lion. Since I'm not hip to the culture of youngsters, they soon informed me that 'iPhone people' and 'Blackberry people' are in a war against one another all across the country. They asked me quickfire questions about whether I knew what "3G" was or if I had a "Shazaam app" or something along those lines.

I told them I like my Blackberry (which until this point I thought was the cool phone to have) and jokingly insisted that any phone that John Mayer endorses is okay with me (I again mistakenly believed that John Mayer is cool with the kids). I instantly got the response from a young, dark-haired beauty that "friends who have met John Mayer" say he is a "douche".

"Why would you like a phone endorsed by a douche?"

Since I've never had this question posed to me before I had no answer.

"I'm much older than you. When I was in high school we didn't know he was a douche yet."

So that was the end of that. I was the weird old auntie until I got back in their good graces with my superb knowledge of the Kardashian sisters and my dislike of the new E! series "Pretty Wild". Ironically, the young lady in my group who was offered to attend a "Super Sweet 16" party by a "fat-ish Indian girl" was quite disturbed that the family featured on Pretty Wild is "too rich for no reason."

At one point I thought it would be an interesting idea to tell them that my father did drugs and my mother is a long-haired hippie with problems of her own but I let sleeping dogs lie.

I really like the people in my group actually. I rarely have opportunities to see young people's minds spinning. I like to watch it and feel like a rebel. Sometimes I wear my mall-bought leather jacket to up the ante.

"Yeah, I'm pretty rebellious, Gang," I would mutter to them under a cloud of fake cigarette smoke. "I have a Blackberry and I like John Mayer. What can I say? I'm into vintage like Nicole Richie. I'm really deep into 2009 retro right now."


Sorry this was stupid but that's what you get and if you don't like it, I'm not telling you to read it.

Good luck with life, Kiddies!

I'm at School. So What?

I'm about to go on amazon.com and buy every Nirvana album used. They will deliver these to my apartment where a slew of prostitutes who probably do not own a cd player will steal them off my front porch and I will wonder what happened to them while they pawn them off for some crack. I will contact the administrators of the Amazon site who will tell me that I should have received a confirmation email saying it was already mailed and there is no insurance on these items.

Please keep all of the above information under your hat, please.

I don't want anyone thinking I'm a fan of Nirvana or knowing that I live with prostitutes. Both would be difficult to explain my way out of - and both are not 100% accurate. There are complications to every truth, right?

Enjoy your day!

Opposites Attract (?)

Yesterday I attended a little function called "Rutgers Day" in which hundreds - maybe thousands - of Rutgers faculty and student body come out and enjoy a Saturday morning with friends, lovers, and dogs. They frolic around the greens together and pretend they're culturally knowledgable.

This was the first time my Jewish boyfriend and I decided to brave the granola crowd to see my favorite professor get an award. We fought about everything from how long the gyro line was to my obsession with leaving him for an older man. The usual mix.

I enjoy spending time with him but he's also a lunatic. Our specific areas of proficiency are very different: he appreciates serial killer documentaries, NPR (only), cooking shows, and Passover dinners while I'm more inclined towards Tom Petty, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, talking to animals, and Peru.

We both enjoy Tina Fey's impression of Sarah Palin though so that's good.

This morning he yelled "Excuse me!" at an Asian woman carrying several pairs of shoes who was trying to cut us in line for the bus. That was also good.

Otherwise he's a loser as previously noted.

Oh and he comes up with funny lines: "You should use my mouthwash. No one wants gingivitis, I know you want Tanquaray Gin but not gingivitis." What he doesn't know is that the gingivitis makes the gin taste even better.

No, that's sick. I'm sorry. Only a homeless person would understand my stupid humor.

This is The National

I'm amazing at wasting time. I've been sitting in Starbucks for three hours now on the computer doing absolutely nothing except drinking large coffees, watching other people drinking large coffees, and thinking about when I should leave. In the meantime I've been listening to that streaming of The National's "High Violet" - it's unbelievable. If you want to read a great article check out http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/25/magazine/25national-t.html. Seriously one of the best articles I've ever read, comprehensive and fluent, just overall excellent.

I'm an obsessive person as a whole but when a new album is coming out by a musician/band I really admire, the obsession reaches shocking heights and I'm not able to think of much else. It takes over my brain. The National is the kind of band that absorbs every inch of your soul.

I have a music blog so I don't know why I'm writing about music here but this isn't really a blog, it's just a dumb screen on your computer with a cool name. If you want to read something of even more substance than the NY Times article, go here : http://musicmavens.blogspot.com/ or just go outside and get off the computer completely. That would do you much more good than staying here and reading anymore.

Or if it's raining or you're ill or have no friends to play with, watch these great videos.

P.S. My favorite so far on "High Violet" is "Lemonworld". It's devastating.

Meow Mix

Charlie loves music. She's a " music catoisseur" if you will. Here's a sampling of her phenomenal taste along with a photograph of her posing with a few of her favorite vinyl pieces. I always tell her she was born in the wrong decade.

Bobby Darin - Multiplication
Eddy Arnold - Cattle Call
Radiohead - scatterbrain
Donovan - Catch the Wind
Led Zeppelin - Communication Breakdown
Ted Leo & the Pharmacists - The Great Communicator
Cat Stevens - If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out
Belle and Sebastian - Piazza, New York Catcher
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - I Need to Know

(just because she's a cat doesn't mean she's only going to like songs with "cat" in the title - obviously.)

Loser Vs. Winner

These are the faces I like to make when my boyfriend is reading books about the Holocaust. He's a nerd and I'm not. It's unfortunate.

Matt Berninger Wrote "Walking With Spiders" in His Journal and I Stole it

My cat Charlie Chaplin is a huge fan of everything I do and vice versa. She has great taste in music and would approve of the title of this blog because she enjoys chasing spiders.

Matt Berninger is the lead singer of The National, my favorite band, and your favorite band if ever you choose to listen to them. They are the greatest in the world and their latest album "High Violet" is streaming on The New York Times website right now.

I don't know what this blog is but I love sharing photographs of my cat and I have a ring with a spider on it... and I love talking about The National so it all works out.