W A L K I N G w i t h S P I D E R S

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Picture Me and You

Here are some photographs from today. We got dressed for our Broadway play, got some coffee at Au Bon Pain, and then came home and watched American Idol with homemade tacos (courtesy of Steve). He's a great cook and the last picture will show you how cute he is. I love him but sometimes we just don't get along. I know he thinks I berate him on this blog but this is just a place of honesty that maybe others can read and relate to in accord with their own relationships. I live with the guy, you know? You don't just dump a ton of money on someone you don't love.

Weird Non-Street Crossers

I was just discussing my love of Broadway a few days ago and now I'm going to see a highly anticipated Broadway musical, "Everyday Rapture", for free today. The lead actress (who also co-wrote it based on her own life), Sherie Rene Scott, just got nominated for a Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical so I'm even more excited to see it. I read an absolutely glowing review in The New York Times the other day that really peaked my interest.

Other than that, I am a little uneasy about going to Times Square today. I'm definitely a very paranoid, nervous person - a real life version of a Woody Allen character. I know that might sound obnoxious but it's a perfect description of my personality. Basically my entire family is full of absolute maniacs that should be commited. No joke. My mother wouldn't let me cross a street alone until I was somewhere deep into high school (which could account for my lack of being able to cross one today) and my cousin plays way too much bingo.

These are the kinds of people that you laugh at in films or novels but don't want to be around in real life.

No, no. I'm kidding. Well, I mean if you ask my boyfriend who was scared like a little girl when my mother, stepfather, and I all snuck up on him in the middle of the night in his car on a deserted street, you might find that he wishes he didn't know us - but of course I can always throw in his face that his dad likes scrapbooking about the oldies and his mom loves The Real Housewives of Orange County more than him.

And on that note, see you later!

Monday, May 3, 2010

An Addition to That Last One

I think I can safely say I'm a professor connoisseur. Professors are my favorite thing about college. In reference to my last post, I will say that I did indeed tell my gorgeous ex-professor that he was my favorite. I'm not sure what percentage of that was the truth and what part merely talked about my favorite professor to look at. Not that he was a bad teacher, I don't feel the need to demean him but more to express my gratitude to the BEST professor I've had. Names aren't necessary because I don't intend this post for anyone except myself. There is such a difference between a person that is doing something for a paycheck and someone that has passion and real motivation for their job. Even the best looking professor looks dead behind the eyes if they're unsatisfied (which I sneakingly believe he is) but when they have genuine consideration for their students, it is a whole different animal.

On the last day of my news writing class today, the teacher bought us pizza and gave us hugs but it wasn't in the physical aspects that I saw the most caring. It was in the sincerity of his words and how they organically brought me to tears. The emotion in his words, in his pauses, and in his voice were overwhelming to someone emotionally unstable like me. It was jarring to see a person in such a high position show his feelings in such a honest manner. It is the kind of attention and REAL FEELING that is missing from nearly everything in this artificial world. It's the kind of thing missing from even my relationship (sorry, you know it's true sometimes).

It is the reality of putting what you love in the foreground and not being afraid to speak your mind. This professor made a connection with every student in that classroom - people of all kinds - that all felt his sincerity and were moved by it. I'm completely in awe of him.

I wrote a short story one time about that other professor (the gorgeous one) where I make a character at the end say, 'You are what I want to find someday.'

Well if that's true, this other professor (the sincere one) is what I want to be someday.

That is a huge difference.

Two Crushes (My Boyfriend Knows About Both)

I'll just tell you what they are up front: The National and my professor.

There was a crazy storm just now that came out of nowhere. I was walking towards a bus stop at school when suddenly the sky turned gray, rain started fogging up my vision, and wind was trying to lift me off my feet (some of that may be an overdramatization of reality).

The closest place to find shelter was the office of my beloved ex-professor.

In a perfect world: I would've run over to the building, pulled open the door, and ran into the hallway soaking wet and shivering. My gorgeous professor would've suddenly appeared and said, "oh no, you're cold. Let me help you." He would put his arms around me and run his hands through my drenched hair. He'd offer me his jacket and say, "Come into my office. I'm sure we can take care of this..."

In reality: I just walked a little faster to the bus stop and stood under the awning thing until the bus arrived. I was miserable and it was disgusting being on top of a bunch of college students all soaked and smelly.

Luckily, I illegally downloaded the song "Lemonworld" off The National's yet-to-be-released album "High Violet" last night and it has been keeping me company all day. It is all I've listened to on repeat for the past four hours (between classes at least).

After pondering the question for many years, I still don't know what categorizes a particular song as your "favorite" or if there is a reasonable expiration date on said comment but minus the semantics, "Lemonworld" is my favorite song right now.

The lyrics are outrageous in my opinion - really beautiful and almost dead in a very real way. Matt Berninger's delivery of these lyrics is equal parts dry & dead and alive & slippery. I think this would makes sense if you heard the song.

Here's a link to the song, hopefully it works.

Lemonworld Lyrics - The National
The deepest part of the song surprisingly are the "do do do do" areas. It's the way he says it.

So happy I was invited
Give me a reason to get out of the city
See you inside watching swarms on TV
Livin' or dyin' in New York it means nothing to me
I gave my heart to the Army
The only sentimental thing I could think of
With cousins and colors and somewhere overseas
But it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me

I'm too tired to drive anyway, anyway right now
Do you care if I stayed?
You can put on your bathing suits
And I'll try to find somethin' on this thing that means nothin' enough
Losin' my breath, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Losin' my breath, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
I want to sit in and die
You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
I want to sit in and die
You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

This pricey stuff makes me dizzy
I guess I've always been a delicate man
Takes me a day to remember a day
I didn't mean to let it get so far out of hand
I was a comfortable kid
But I don't think about it much anymore
Lay me on the table, put flowers in my mouth
And we can say that we invented a summer lovin' torture party

I'm too tired to drive anyway, anyway right now
Do you care if I stayed?
You can put on your bathing suits
And I'll try to find something on this thing that means nothin' enough

You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
I want to sit in and die
You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
I want to sit in and die
You and your sister live in a Lemonworld
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo...

Losin' my breath
Doo doo doo doo doo doo...