Uncool and Uninterested

I am having such nonsense problems today.

I don't drive. Okay, that's out there.  Let me say it one more time: I DON'T DRIVE.

More than a few people are either astounding and/or disturbed by this fact. People can't understand why I'm a legal U.S. citizen and can't acquire a driver's license. It is not because I'm stupid, in fact I have never taken the driving test, and it is not because I don't have a desire to drive, when I was younger I begged my mother to let me taking driving lessons.

It is a combination of many factors the biggest being financial. I would rather spend my money on rent, utilities, clothing, and coffee than all the bills that come a long with an automobile. I am not afraid of driving, on the contrary I think I'd be a great driver, it is just that I am used to being a non-driver and therefore the prospect of becoming a driver so late in the game is foreign to me. This doesn't mean I won't do it some day but I don't know when that day will come. I feel a need to apologize for this and believe me it gets in the way of a lot of things big time but I have a tiny bit of a bank account because of this so I'm quasi-satisfied. I don't know.

Anyway, I am fortunate enough to live near campus and the university library. I take the same walk almost everyday - usually several times a day - and wonder if some of the cars driving past recognize me just through association with the street. I wonder if people I know are driving past wondering why I don't have a car and I sometimes consider the number of folks younger than me driving by probably thinking I'm a prostitute.

Today, on this beautiful nearly-summer day, with a million important things on my mind, I blocked all those important things out and focused on the aformentioned thoughts specifically. Am I un-hip? The conclusion I came to was a resounding YES - today at least. By genetics alone, I'm extremely hip. My father was a professional drummer in several bands with business cards referring to himself as "The Wolf". He had long, curly blond hair and wore tons of awesome jewelry. He collected skull things and listened to some rocking music for his time. My mom is the MASTER of music having worked at a record store for years and the warehouse of a record label back in the day. Her record collection would make any stupid hipster of today weak at the knees. She shares a birthday with Cher and has the hair to match.

All of this leads to my creation and my innate coolness. I think.

Today though I thought of the brillant Robert Downey, Jr. article I read last night in Rolling Stone. The writer mentions that on day one of the interview Downey was trying to make an impression. He had pre-planned what to say and how to interact with him. On day two, things weren't going Downey's way and his plans were screwed up - he had to show the interviewer a real glimpse into his life that included picking him up in his Audi SUV while blasting The Doobie Brothers. The writer refers to this moment in the article as Downey "not trying to be hip" or something along those lines.

Hey, writer, I like The Doobie Brothers! I recently saw them live and "What a Fool Believes" is one of my all time favorite songs (I played it at a bar one time and danced like a total maniac in front of many pairs of disapproving eyes... but that's another story). I know young people or writers for Rolling Stone don't find them cool but why the hell is a band like The Doobie Brothers being chastized in a feature article about Robert Downey, Jr.? It made me love Mr. Downey all the more - like that was necessary, the man is a God in my eyes.

ANYWAY, with this in mind, I stepped outside of myself and took a good look at me: There I am, without a car, 24 years old, walking to campus on a day when there is actually no class, listening to Eric Clapton's "I Got a Rock 'N Roll Heart" and wearing a gold elephant around my neck. I'm wearing a knit hat in 90 degree weather and a midnight blue jacket. Who am I? With my long, unkempt hair and furry eyebrows I could easily be mistaken for Willie Nelson's younger sister - or gay brother - who knows.

I always think I look like Willie Nelson. This complex has been going on since high school. I do not smoke enough pot to keep this persona up though.

Now, there is actually a sub-culture of young people who might find me cool if they knew me. The kind that hang out at bars on weeknights and think it's cool to have an extensive stash of Dave Mason vinyl but the reality is my personality is too kooky for even these people (and let's get real, most of those kinds of people are faking it anyway). I'd rather be with real people who don't share my interests than fake people who pretend to share my interests. I know there's a group of people in between but so far that's mostly been urban legends. That's why if I've met you and you like the same things as me I get way too excited. I want to be your friend instantly but most likely I won't be good at the upkeep (phone calls, hanging out, etc.). I usually would rather hang out with my cat and a cheap bottle of Pinot Grigio. It's true! Well not entirely, I really like going out but Steve does not. At all. It's a bummer.

Listen, if Ke$ha is considered cool and sandals are in, then count me out. I'd rather be uncool and uninterested.